Ephesians 5:22-24

The Spirit makes it possible to submit humbly to one another out of respect for the Anointed. 22 Wives, it should be no different with your husbands. Submit to them as you do to the Lord, 23 for God has given husbands a sacred duty to lead as the Anointed leads the church and serves as the head. (The church is His body; He is her Savior.) 24 So wives should submit to their husbands, respectfully, in all things, just as the church yields to the Anointed One.

*Before I write for wives, husbands please do not think it’s all your wife’s fault if some things are not working. You have your role to carry out.*

God has taught me a lot over the past 20 years of my marriage. It was tough for me to submit and respect Pastor Steve as my head.

Respecting, loving, speaking softly, and treating him nicely was really hard for me. Due to my bad relationship with my father and witnessing my mother being treated harshly by him, I told myself,

“Do not give your heart to any men, do not love them, do not give respect for they don’t deserve it, but just use them.”

I looked down on all men regardless of their age. When I dated anyone, I got bored quickly and dumped them swiftly. They were literally like an object to me. My feelings were numb to them. All men did not have any value if they were not rich.

Now you know my background, please understand I had to put my utmost effort to be changed. It was very hard for me to respect my husband. It was very hard for me to show love to my husband.

You don’t just magically change overnight. When God comes to break you, you have to LET HIM.

Husbands will test you in many ways:
They may speak sharply or roughly, and they may be irritated for some reason; therefore, they may snap at you, jab at you, or increase their voice (they often speak this way without bad intention). They may forget your birthdays or wedding anniversaries here and there. Their lack of common sense may stir up your flesh. They may fail to do things that you asked them to do. They may look not too bright; they may automatically look at other women here and there (they are just being men, not trying to cheat on you), and so on.

In all the above situations/conditions, I’ve realized that I still need to respect my husband and submit to his authority. Whether to respect or not, whether to submit or not, is not your option. It is God’s command. In all the above situations, you are required to kill your flesh and speak kindly and respectfully in submission. This will convict and change your husband.

Verse 21 states, “The Spirit makes it possible to submit humbly…” When you diligently read the Bible (and apply), when you diligently pray and die to yourself (God creates situations and gives you a chance to kill your flesh), as a result, when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, it will become natural(easier) for you to respect, submit, be kind, gentle, and loving to your husband.

Let me ask all wives.

Do you want your finances to be restored and be blessed?
Do you want your husband to do things right?
Do you want your household to be blessed?
Do you want you and your husband to become wise?
Do you want to go to the next level spiritually and physically?

God wants to grant all the above.

God is waiting for you. There are requirements for you to fulfill.

The order in the household must be restored. (Submission & give respect) Your husband is not your servant.
You must become broken and flow with the Holy Spirit.
You must diligently read, pray, and praise God.
Show God you are faithful in doing household chores, raising your children in a godly way, and stop being lazy.
Stop spending when you are not in a season, but save.
Bite your tongue when you want to argue and fight. Die at the moment because that is your chance to die.

Above scripture stated, “Submit to them as you do to the Lord.” This verse was revelation to me. Treat my husband as I do to the Lord.

In my opinion, your relationship with your husband reflects your relationship with the Lord.

James 3:16 NLT – For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

I’m using this verse to show you how disorder opens the door for curses to come in.

Your next level, the next stage, restoration in all areas, financial blessing, and a loving and understanding relationship with your husband won’t come without paying the price.

You have to come to have this revelation, wives. Otherwise, you will be kept on waiting. Your husband is not hopeless. God wants to change you first.

Please meditate on the verse and ask God to give you revelation for you:

Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives],
But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles].

Pastor Yoojin Kim