Hello Beloved Church 👋🏼
I’ve been at this church for years and I have to be honest, I’ve squandered most of time here.
Beloved Pastors have been preaching for years on being born again, and how to pursue that in the details of your daily life. Praying, reading and worshiping, dying to yourself are some of the basics but to also cut off distractions. I thought I did but only realized until recently, that I had been so wrong. Not only was I wrong and self-deceived but I have wasted so much time – God’s Time.
A while back during his preaching, Beloved Pastor Steve advised we should just get rid of TikTok. He preached again and mentioned it recently saying that you can end up scrolling on it for hours so it’d be best not to have it.
I didn’t obey.
At first, I’d delete and then re-download it because I didn’t want to miss the funny cat videos or the videos that ask which house I’d choose to live in. It seemed innocent because, after all, the videos I was watching weren’t inherently evil or bad. But I missed the first red flag – I was in clear disobedience.
I noticed that although I’d do the basics, it was a bare minimum; I treated God as if I was just checking in for the day after a long days work before I went to go check my cherished TikTok. I looked forward to seeing my videos more than I did with praying or reading. I deceived myself into wearing this cloak of religiosity, thinking I was doing my part.
Recently, I was told to cut off some things. After being in a cell group meeting one Friday, Beloved Elder Daniel told me that that if TikTok was a distraction, I should cut it off – God speaking through him reminding me of what Beloved Pastor Steve said so long ago.
Although I didn’t see it as a distraction since I kept “my (bare minimum) part”, I thought I should just do it, especially if Beloved Pastor Steve commanded us to a long time ago. I had just cut off some other things, so why not TikTok? The day I did, everything changed.
Without even remotely exaggerating, the difference was like night and day. I felt as if the lights were off and abruptly turned on the day I permanently deleted it. Not sure if just solely cutting off TikTok did it or it was in combination with the other things I cut off, but that’s when I noticed the change.
I actually felt close for the first time in a long time to Someone I had once met and was around but barely acknowledged; beforehand, His Name had become just a desensitized word in my vocabulary. I just acknowledged his existence. How could I have become so lukewarm?
The closeness to Him and His Presence I felt after cutting social media off is hard to describe in words, but it made me never want to leave. I felt that I didn’t want to go anywhere without Him so I started acknowledging His Presence everywhere I was – even at work. I wanted to do everything for The Love of God. Even if a mistake was made, I would feel a nudge from Him. But rather than feeling self-pity because I messed things up again, I felt the correction made was made in love.
Now everything I do whether spiritual – praying, reading, worshipping- or just mundane stuff – going to work – felt the same because He was there with me. I would always talk about God as if he wasn’t in the room. How unseen, undervalued He must have felt.
But even with the love I felt by His Grace, also came an overwhelming sense to repent. Not out of duty or obligation like I’ve done for over the past years but because I was afraid of losing my Love.
I realized I could have felt this a long time ago when Beloved Pastor first started teaching me. I squandered the LORD’s Time, the time His Beloved servants – The Beloved Pastors and Leadership – poured into me. (For that I do apologize to anyone I’ve ever been under). The sweet fruit I could have beared, that The Holy Spirit could have been eating from rather than the rotten fruit I let Him go on.
All because I didn’t listen and apply the teachings and ran to videos and food for comfort rather than The Comforter Himself (food will be a different discussion for another day), but how can deleting an app make such a huge change? There might be some other factors, but I didn’t realize how much impact Social media had on me. It influenced the way I thought and spoke, with God being on the back burner. Heaven wasn’t on my mind at all. I took my eyes off the Path of Life – The Lord Himself. That’s all it takes to get off the narrow road – an app. A stupid app.
The Creator of The Universe has riches untold to reveal to me but I chose to rather watch a kitten cutely hiss at its owner. That was more important? But not just was the time here at church squandered, but really my life up until this point. The patience of our LORD is matchless. I know I was indebted to Him before. Still, ever so now, with my eyes open, I see how bad of a sinner I really am: I’ve lied, committed adultery in my heart, watched things I shouldn’t have, have gotten jealous, had been offended, greedy, lazy, passive, negative – I had even betrayed The Beloved Pastors years ago – not only was I an unbelieving Christian but I was Pharisee, a Judas, a Cain – I could attribute my sins to every villain in the Bible. I’m not trying to be humble, I’m just being honest with you and myself.
I’m not born again.
I’m thankful for the chances He’s given me, and I don’t want to lose another opportunity – I may never get it again. Some of the people I’ve known for years aren’t here anymore. There’s Grace right now and available.
Please just listen and apply. One of the reasons why leadership is where they’re at is because they don’t waste time. It’s not because they don’t make mistakes but it’s because they get back up and pursue the True Prize – not some app. How we live on earth will determine how we end up. Even in Heaven, not all rewards are equal. The closer I am to God here, the closer I’ll be to Him in Heaven. How stupid I’ll feel on judgment day if I waste another second.
Just keep it simple: put your heart into every instruction, and don’t be afraid of what you think you might lose by following it. He is the Greatest Prize and will not disappoint. May the Lord God, His Son, and His Spirit be with us all – Amen!
Lissa Long