As I share my testimony with you my Beloved family, please focus on what Iâve learned vs the blessing. As a daughter to a mother who is âworldlyâ I learned my wrongs against her and others not the other way around. I learned how wrong Iâve been in my marriage, as a daughter and as a sinner. I learned so much and learned how much more I have to learn at the same time. I know many of us have âdifficultâ parents who does or doesnât go to this church whether thatâs your parents, or your spouses parents or even your spiritual parents. I hope you can see your own mistakes as you read mine and that it brings light to you. I am really sorry to you Fire of God family as well if I hurt any of you in my ignorance or brought any of you pain. Upon being here I truly did my best but I realized in many cases I was still very wrong and blinded by deception.Back in July my husband and I received a corrective word on laziness, loving others and expressing our Love to God. When we received this word I just received it as if it was for myself and genuinely felt really bad about it. I was focusing on repenting during every prayer and about two weeks later Pastor Jeremiah told my husband and I about declaring, he said that is why people are stuck in offense for years. He specifically said âthis is the key, i am giving it to youâ. After this I began declaring, we were instructed to declare three times a day, so morning, afternoon and night I would declare. If I wasnât obedient to Beloved Pastor Jeremiah about declaring and brushed him off I would have never gotten the revelation of how much sin I have, how much sin I have that I dont even know that I have and how wrong Iâve been, and could be even when I’m doing my best. Me doing my best doesnât define my right standing, yes it is required but because I am a sinner even though I’m doing my best I could be deceived still.
During declaring I genuinely wanted to change everything from my mindset to my way of even handling finances. I wanted to change the way I dreamed to match what God wanted for me and this was my main desire and focus. I didnât care about finances, having a new car, a home or even buying anything. During this time God opened my eyes to see many areas I am sinning and areas I need to change even the way I think about things. God went from showing me something I was doing wrong monthly to weekly to every other day. God showed me how as a wife I affect my husband’s mood through mine, which is something Beloved Sr Pastor Steve preached for years but I did not believe. God showed me in seasons where I put my best effort that I was wrong and He showed me regarding my relationship with my mom I needed to repent and that I was wrong. God also showed me how I need to align more with Beloved Sr Pastor Yoo-Jin in the way she thinks vs my own thinking.
Please keep in mind I put maximum effort into my relationship with my mom, I bit my tongue and served/ endured as she called me names, tried to manipulate me and my children, talk badly about me to my children, wished hurtful things on me and admitted to doing things that honestly broke my heart, but God came and still showed me I was wrong. That I didnât love her the way she needed to be loved but through my own thinking. My mom may not have been the nicest, and may have done really messed up things but that didnât really matter if I am in the wrong as well. I realized my mom didnât understand that me keeping my mouth shut was me doing my best to respect her but she thought I was being disrespectful and just jabbed more. Upon being willing to listen to her vent about what Iâve done to hurt her, I realized that I really hurt my mom. I was responding based on what we were taught but because she wasnât aware of this, and due to her own interpretation in her mind she concluded that I did not like her, I wanted nothing to do with her and me not responding was a confirmation of that in her mind. Once she vented and as I listened, God showed me her hurts and that I needed to love her the way she would be able to receive it but also that because she is more emotional I need to go lower. After this our conversation went quiet and shortly after I told her I was sorry, very sorry for hurting her through my lack of communication with her. I could see after doing this her face dropped, and it touched her. My mom is a very smart woman, she is aware of her behavior and confessed she lashes out on me because I am nice to her and I won’t lash out back, so when I apologized I think that showed her what Iâve told her in action. That I do love her and honor her as my mother.
Since the summer, she has given me 3 different deadlines and changed them 3 times yelling and requiring me to work faster or she would fire me. She accused me countlessly of not doing my work, she would treat me really rudely during work if I told her she couldnât do something with the children and she even told me I could only have 2 weeks off after I delivered my baby. Working for my mom has actually been extremely difficult and at first I only made $200 a week but I did it anyway so I can do my best taking care of my children.
A month after apologizing to my mom, my mom gave me a new project. She told me to speak to a realtor about buying land, she wanted to buy 4 acres of land and build 4 houses on this land and she told me to do all of the work because she didnât want to. At this point I am working literally all day speaking with the realtor on permits and boundaries on each land and I’m pretty sure this won’t turn into anything but I decided to do my best as if this is something she would do but I do not have any expectation during the process. After playing middle man for some time, she sent me a house on realtor one morning and said âi want to buy you this houseâ. Even with this I still expected nothing and didn’t think anything of it, we viewed the house and realized there were a lot of hidden things about the home that was messed up. We viewed a few others and I still managed to keep emotion out of it and didnât get hopeful about any of them. As I was looking online there was one that I couldnât keep emotion out of, I began to want a specific home.
At the time my mom gave me two options. 1. Put 3.5 down now for home or wait and put 10% at the end of summer. Me and my husband chose to wait so we could put 10% down for a home. The next morning I woke up a little disappointed about not getting the house I specifically wanted but reminded myself what is for me is for me and whatever house God wants to give me will be perfect for me. Later that morning my mom called me and told me she had funding for 20% down to buy us a house. We ended up viewing the house and made an offer the next day.
our offer was accepted, then a week before we were supposed to close funding fell through. My mom said that she wasnât able to pull funding based on owing the government and they put a lock on her pulling a loan out of her home. On top of that she told me she couldnât even pull any loans for any down payments and her hands were tied. I was pretty irritated to be honest, but I realized at this moment God wanted me to love her and that most people would treat her badly because of this. So I told her it was okay, that it was just 4 walls and none of that changed my love for her, I told her not to make me an idol and try to make me happy because God is what matters, I did my best to encourage her to let it go and show her that she had no reason to panic even if we didn’t get the house because my demeanor would not change towards her.
After this I had thoughts that told me it is okay, miracles like this aren’t for me. God wouldnât do something like this for me and instantly for the first time I believed what Iâve been declaring for months:
âTherefore, I am anew in Christ, I am a new creation; all old things have passed away, behold all things have become newâ 2 Corinthians 5:17
âand I will make you my promised bride forever, I will be good and fair. I will show you my love and mercyâ Hosea 2:19
and the full chapter of Psalms 91.
I believed the New Bryanna doesnât get upset over tangible things and that as God’s daughter miracles belong to me too, in His time. Next day she gets a call from the lender we were using and he was able to pull her a loan and she assured me she had options but regardless she was going to buy me this house and help us afford the home, on top of that she told me she was going to pay me double as I was on maternity leave and that I could take 3 months if I needed it. She also told us that she was going to cover the first two monthly payments in its entirety. I was not searching for a home, day dreaming about one and I wouldnât have moved if we couldnât afford it but God used her to take care of everything. We get a monthly allowance for the home for the first 5 years and a lower monthly amount for another 5 years if we need it. She also bought our appliances, Nehemiah a basketball hoop and the children a trampoline. While she was blessing us, God also blessed her financially, some companyâs she works with called her and told her they would lower her expenses and one of her bills was also lowered by more than 20K. God took care of her as she moved in faith to be used by God to help take care of us.
A few things I would like to point out.
Ephesians 6:1â3
[1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] âHonor your father and motherâ (this is the first commandment with a promise), [3] âthat it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.â (ESV)
Beloved Sr Pastor Steve has been preaching about the commandments for a while now. When he started, he talked about honoring your parents, if I neglected this instruction (preaching from the alter) I wouldâve been neglecting this commandment as Beloved Sr Pastor Steve is my spiritual parent. If I did not honor my mother and Beloved Pastor Jeremiah this wouldnât have been possible. Pastor Jeremiah is not only Pastor but my inherited dad. I could brush him off and say well thatâs Nehemiah’s dad not mine but then I wouldnât be following God’s commandments, he is not only my inherited dad but also my spiritual authority as a Pastor.
Matthew 10:41
If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God, you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs.
Pastor Jeremiah shared his testimony of overcoming through declaring and told us when God gives you something, He will also provide/ pay for it. This along with Beloved Sr Pastor preaching about honoring your father and mother we then received a reward similar to theirs.
Matthew 6:33
33 But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
I wasnât seeking materials, I was seeking to change to align with who God says I am. I wanted to align with God’s vision for me, and in this God has made my husband and I home owners. God answered one of the biggest desires of mine just from seeking His will and dreams. Praise God!!
Additional Comments:
Hello, beloved Bryanna and Nehemiah, we are so very proud of you and your family. And I know you are faithfully reading the Bible as you can use it within your testimony and life!
Itâs nice to know someone is actually listening to the sermons and counsel. I know who you are, and I know who sleeps, and I know who pretends. In the end, it will all show as God will not be mocked. You will be rewarded accordingly, as the Bible promises.










I’m so happy for you guys, Nehemiah & Bryana! â¤ď¸ proud of you & how you made the right decisions to die to yourself đ
Senior Pastor Yoojin Kim